The Gift of Acceptance
———————
Ecclesiastes 7:10-14
“10 Do not say, “Why were the old days better than these?” For it is not wise to ask such questions. 11 Wisdom, like an inheritance, is a good thing and benefits those who see the sun.
12 Wisdom is a shelter as money is a shelter, but the advantage of knowledge is this: Wisdom preserves those who have it.
13 Consider what God has done: Who can straighten what he has made crooked?
14 When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, no one can discover anything about their future.”
———————
Time is a Gift of God
Last week we focused on a passage from Ecclesiastes, Chapter 3 that teaches us about Toil and Time. To better understand those ideas, we also considered a near-neighbor of Ecclesiastes in the Bible, another one of the Books of Wisdom: Job.
Recall Job’s situation. Job is “blameless and upright,” a man who “eschews evil.” But he’s also wealthy, and has an enormous estate with lots of livestock and a big family. One day, Satan asks God to test Job and Job’s faith in God.
Satan is testing whether Job is faithful simply because his life is so abundant. Does Job have faith only because he expects something good from God as a result? This is what Satan wants to find out. In Job 1:10-11:
“You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. But now stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face.”
Job’s wife encourages him to curse God and to give up and die, but Job refuses, struggling to accept his circumstances. This is when he utters one of my all-time favorite passages of the Bible, Job 1:21. If you remember one thing from this sermon, remember that verse. Job 1:21.
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. THE LORD GAVE AND THE LORD HAS TAKEN AWAY; MAY THE NAME OF THE LORD BE PRAISED.” God blessed me, and now those blessings are gone. He has given, and He has taken away.
LET THE PROFOUND NATURE OF JOB’S UTTERANCE SINK IN. “WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THE GOOD IN MY LIFE,” JOB ASKS. “GOD GAVE ME EVERYTHING GOOD TO START WITH. IF HE TAKES SOME AWAY NOW, IT WAS HIS TO BEGIN WITH.”
Remember that for Job to think he deserves the bad, Job must first think that he’s done something to deserve the good. This is, in fact, the very idea that Satan wants to test by asking God for permission to torture poor Job. It’s called “disinterested righteousness.”
Job’s reaction comes from a place of radical honesty. Honesty with himself and his situation. And because he’s starting from that place, he’s able to do something profound. He’s able to be honest about the role of God in his life as well.
Job doesn’t end up saying “I’m so unlucky that all this bad stuff happened to me” because he doesn’t start from the premise “I am so smart, and I worked so hard for everything I have, I totally deserve everything in my life.”
THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF “EGO,” WHICH STANDS FOR “EDGING GOD OUT.” LIVING IN EGO IS A WAY OF LIVING THAT IS AS SAD AS IT IS LIMITED. “I HAVE BLESSED MYSELF! I AM GOD! I HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS!”
Because Job is EGO-less from the start, and able to see everything around him in life as a blessing from God, Job is able to likewise praise God in the loss of those blessings. Job is operating from a place of radical honesty – honesty with himself, and honesty about God.
Job doesn’t find himself in fear when something bad happens, precisely because Job had trusted God when good things were happening. And most importantly, Job was able to recognize those good things as coming from God, not himself.
Because Job’s EGO was never at the center of his understanding of good times, it wasn’t there to be shattered when bad times came along. And because Job’s ego wasn’t being built up when times were good, he had less to be afraid of when times turned bad.
JOB’S PERSPECTIVE HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH HIS UNDERSTAND OF WHAT HE “DESERVES.” What did we do to deserve to be born? Much less to be born in God’s image? Is there something we did to deserve the sunshine, or the abundance of God’s Creation?
Here is a teaching from the Sermon on the Mount, from Matthew 5:43-47. “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.
He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that?
And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?” Consider verse 45 more closely: “HE CAUSES HIS SUN TO RISE ON THE EVIL AND THE GOOD, AND SENDS RAIN ON THE RIGHTEOUS AND THE UNRIGHTEOUS.”
We did nothing to deserve these things. And these fundamentals are given to everyone we know. Life. Our planet. The ability to do good, to be a channel for God’s grace. If God wanted to torture us, why would he make us with the capacity for such things as love? Forgiveness?
WHAT GOD HAS IN MIND FOR US HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT WE “DESERVE.” AND THANK GOODNESS FOR THAT. Because we know from Romans 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
THE WAGES OF SIN IS DEATH. SO THANK GOODNESS WE DON’T EVER GET WHAT WE “DESERVE” FROM GOD. INSTEAD, WE ARE GIVEN BOTH THE GIFT OF TIME – WHICH IS THE GIFT OF A LIFETIME – AND THE GIFT OF CHRIST’S GRACE FOR US ALL.
JOB OPERATES FROM A PLACE OF RADICAL, EGOLESS ACCEPTANCE. JOB REALIZES HOW FULLY HIS LIFE TIME IS A GIFT FROM GOD. JOB ACTS MERELY AS A STEWARD OF HIS OWN LIFE, AND ALL JOB ASKS IS TO BE USEFUL TO GOD FOR HIS PURPOSES.
———————
1_Accepting the Present Here and Now
Today’s passage from Ecclesiastes 7:10-14 continues to teach us about time. “Do not say, “Why were the old days better than these?” For it is not wise to ask such questions. Wisdom, like an inheritance, is a good thing and benefits those who see the sun.
Wisdom is a shelter as money is a shelter, but the advantage of knowledge is this: Wisdom preserves those who have it. Consider what God has done: Who can straighten what he has made crooked?
When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, no one can discover anything about their future.” ARE THERE TIMES WE FEEL OUR PASTS CREEPING UP A BIT TOO MUCH INTO OUR PRESENT?
THIS PASSAGE FROM ECCLESIASTES WARNS US ABOUT NOSTALGIA. The word “nostalgia” comes from the Greek words “nostos” (homecoming) and “algos” (pain, distress). It was originally used as a medical diagnosis for mercenary soldiers.
Of course it’s fine to enjoy memories from the past. But Ecclesiates teaches us it can be dangerous to compare your perfect memories of the past with the present moment. “Do not say, “Why were the old days better than these?” For it is not wise to ask such questions.”
WHY ARE WE TAUGHT IT IS NOT WISE TO BE NOSTALGIC? GO BACK TO THE MEANING OF THE WORD. “THE PAIN OF COMING HOME.” Nostalgia is a feeling of sadness that comes from remembering something from the past and wishing you could experience it again.
WHAT KIND OF THING IS IT TO SAY TO GOD “TODAY IS FINE AND ALL, BUT YESTERDAY WAS BETTER, GOD. I PREFERRED THE WORLD THE WAY YOU USED TO HAVE IT.” Nothing happens in God’s world by accident. This is a helpful observation to remember.
WHAT IF INSTEAD OF NOSTALGIA FOR THE PAST WE REGRET IT. Perhaps we behaved in ways we wish we hadn’t. We said something we wish we could take back. We angered someone. We caused hurt. Or even real harm. Everyone has done this. It’s only human.
DOES IT DO YOU GOOD OR HARM TO HOLD ON TO THAT REGRET IN THE HERE AND NOW? OR, LET ME ASK ANOTHER WAY. DOES HOLDING ON TO REGRET FOR THE PAST TODAY MAKE YOU MORE OR LESS USEFUL TO GOD IN THE FUTURE?
LETTING GO OF THE PAST MIGHT SEEM EASY. JUST ASK GOD FOR FORGIVENESS AND GO ON ABOUT YOUR WAY, RIGHT? DO WE JUST LEAVE THE HARM WE HAVE CAUSED OUT IN THE WORLD, TO FESTER IN THE HEARTS OF OUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS?
In Matthew 5:23-24, Jesus teaches us, “if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.”
In this passage from Matthew, Jesus tells us very specifically to put our faith into action with other people. We must try and make things right where we may have wronged. Then, we are graciously invited to love up to God – what welcome there is in His words “THEN COME.”
And notice again the very specific language Jesus uses here. Jesus does not say “if you are at the altar and there remember that YOU have something against SOMEONE ELSE.” Jesus does not tell us this here – though we may want to consider coming to God with anger in our hearts.
Here, though, Jesus tells us to go and reconcile with others if we remember that SOMEONE ELSE has something against US. Even if we think that WE are in the right. Even if THEY started it. We want to reply to Jesus, “But THEY have wronged ME! Will nothing be done to THEM?”
“But Lord,” we want to say back to Jesus. “My brother or sister only has something against me because they think I am more in the wrong… But Lord, I am more right than they are! It is THEY who should be apologizing to ME!” Jesus answers us: TAKE UP YOUR CROSS.
“But Lord,” we say, “this isn’t fair! If I am the one who apologizes, it will look like I was the one in the wrong, and that they were entirely in the right! This just is not the case! What will be done with THEM?” Jesus answers us: LEAVE THEIR JUDGMENT TO ME.
“But Lord,” we try once more, “I will look weak if I am the one who apologizes.” Based on today’s scripture, Jesus might say ‘it is a small, small thing if you should look weak, and out of your control what others think of you. IT IS LIFE AND DEATH TO YOU THAT YOU LOVE THEM.
WE ARE TAUGHT IN ECCLESIASTES TO AVOID NOSTALGIA, AND IN THE GOSPELS TO RIGHT-SIZE OUR PAST WITH OUR PRESENT. WHY THIS FOCUS ON APPRECIATING THE GIFT OF THE PRESENT? SO WE CAN BE MORE USEFUL TO GOD IN THE FUTURE.
———————
2_Accept the Present, Trust the Future
LETTING GO OF THE PAST TO BE MORE USEFUL TO GOD IN THE FUTURE HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH TRUST: TRUSTING THAT GOD HAS A PATH FOR US, AND TRUSTING WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE FOLLOW THAT PATH. Consider ant colonies.
Ant colonies would hardly work if the ants were going about their business, bouncing around, when suddenly: one gets a signal to help get food! They follow the signal as fast as they can, and gets to where the food’s supposed to be, and it’s a prank. Other ants are hiding, laughing.
WE HAVE TO TRUST GOD’S PATH. On the other hand, imagine the same ant, going about their business, and gets the same signal to help with food. But the ant is worried that if they follow and help with the food, no one will repair their corner of the nest.
SO WE ALSO HAVE TO TRUST WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE FOLLOW THE PATH. We must have full trust in God. That means faith not only in what we’re called to do, but also that what we don’t do as a result won’t result in the end of the world.
WE HAVE TO TRUST GOD, BOTH IN WHAT WE DO, AND IN THE OUTCOME. That second part is much more difficult. Take an example of someone committing a wrong against us. We don’t need to do a whole lot of praying to know WHAT we should do in that situation: forgive.
THE OUTCOME IS MORE DIFFICULT TO TRUST. What should we do when we feel slighted? Forgive. That’s the “what.” Trusting that it won’t matter if we come across as the person in the wrong because we forgave? Trusting we won’t look weak? That’s much more difficult.
TRUSTING THE OUTCOME IS MORE DIFFICULT BECAUSE IT INVOLVES TRUSTING EACH OTHER. In this forgiveness example, you can see this clearly. We don’t want to “come across” as the person in the wrong. We don’t want to “look weak.” We don’t want to “appear wrong.”
Have you ever thought about what the exact opposite of trust might be? I looked it up in Webster’s dictionary, and according to that book, antonyms for “trust” include “hold, keep, retain, withhold, own, possess…” THE OPPOSITE OF TRUST IS CONTROL.
A DESIRE TO CONTROL GENERALLY COMES FROM FEAR. If we are going through this sermon together and suddenly: there is a bear in the room! What would our bodies tell us to do? Our bodies tell us to control the object of fear, to kill the bear, or distract it, or hide from it.
SIGNALS OF FEAR AFFECT US ON A DEEPLY BIOLOGICAL LEVEL. If a bear were to suddenly appear, the amygdala deep in the middle of our brains would go to work. It alerts your nervous system, which sets your body’s fear response into motion. You can do nothing about this.
Stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline would be released. Your blood pressure and heart rate increase. You start breathing faster. Even your blood flow changes — blood actually flows away from your heart and into your limbs, making it easier for you to run for your life.
When we are afraid, our bodies prepare us for something called “fight-or-flight.” As you can see from the broken down description of what’s happening in our bodies when we are afraid, it’s both an intense reaction, and it’s totally involuntary.
Saint Augustine was a theologian and philosopher who lived around 350-450 AD, and whose writings I have learned a lot from about this topic. In his work “Confessions,” Augustine asks “What do I love when I say I love my God? The name of God is a HOW, not a WHAT.”
GOD IS NOT A CONCEPT. GOD IS A SET OF ACTIONS, A WAY WAY TO LIVE. While God is most certainly a “being” – in fact, God is very much The Being – the way we experience God is as a process of “becoming.” WE EXPERIENCE GOD BY WALKING GOD’S PATH.
AS CHRISTIANS, WE TRUST GOD’S PATH FOR US. WE IGNORE THE SIGNALS OF FEAR AND CONTROL WE GET FROM THE WORLD. The world tells you “look out for yourself and hoard wealth, my child! It is the only way you will be happy.”
God tells us “the only way to be truly happy is through service and charity.” In our worldly ant colony, we hear the signal from around us: “ants we don’t recognize! Keep them out! Protect the colony!”
And yet Jesus tells us “invite them in, keep them warm, feed them something to eat.” The signal we get from the world is “be afraid deep in your soul about how you compare to other people, and work your entire life to try and end up at the top of the human heap!”
DID YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU PUT BLACK ANTS WITH RED ANTS INTO A CONTAINER TOGETHER, THEY WILL LIVE IN PEACE UNLESS YOU SHAKE THE JAR? THEN THEY START KILLING EACH OTHER. IT’S THE ONE SHAKING THE JAR THAT CAUSES THE TROUBLE.
ALL OF LIFE IS DISCERNING BETWEEN THE SIGNALS OF THE WORLD, OF FEAR, OF SELF-WILL, OF DOING GOD’S JOB FOR HIM, AND THE SIGNALS OF WHAT IS HOLY, AND FULL OF GRACE, AND RIGHT AND JUST… GOD’S WILL.
———————
3_Acceptance is the Basis of Faith
Ecclesiastes 7:12-14: “Consider what God has done: Who can straighten what he has made crooked? When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, no one can discover anything about their future.”
THE KEY TO ESCAPING THE CYCLE OF FEAR AND CONTROL IS TO AVOID THE TEMPTATIONS OF NOSTALGIA AND REGRET FOR THE PAST, AND INSTEAD FOCUS ON ACCEPTING THE PRESENT MOMENT IN THE HERE AND NOW.
Consider this passage from a book I read and reflect on often: ““Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation—some fact of my life—unacceptable to me…
…and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake.
Until I could accept my [situation], I could [do nothing about it]; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes.”
Ecclesiastes 7:12-14: “Consider what God has done: Who can straighten what he has made crooked? When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, no one can discover anything about their future.”
“Consider what God has done: Who can straighten what he has made crooked?” PERHAPS THE KEY TO OUR FUTURE WITH GOD IS ABOUT RIGHT-SIZING OUR PAST, AND ACCEPTING OUR PRESENT.
WHAT IF WE WERE TO ACCEPT LIFE AS IT IS TODAY, REALIZING IT IS EXACTLY THE WAY GOD INTENDED IT? WHAT IF WE WERE TO FOCUS ON OUR OWN ATTITUDES, RATHER THAN WHAT WE CANNOT CHANGE OUT IN THE WORLD?
WHAT IF WE WERE HONEST WITH OURSELVES? About our own abilities, about our own limitations? About what we can control, and what we cannot? About what the world has to do with our relationship with God, really and truly?
WHAT IF WE PRACTICED RADICAL ACCEPTANCE? IF WE ACCEPTED THE WORLD, AND OUR ROLE IN IT, WOULD WE BE MORE OR LESS USEFUL TO GOD? ACCEPTANCE MEANS FOCUSING ON WHAT WE, OURSELVES, CAN DO BETTER. NOT CONTROLLING OTHERS.
Am I saying that we should “like” the world as it is? Full of sin? Not at all. We don’t have to like it. But we have to accept it. And we have to accept the way Christ taught us to deal with it. Please allow me to elaborate.
WHAT DO THE POTENTIAL SINS OF OTHER PEOPLE HAVE TO DO WITH YOUR OWN, PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD? “But look, God! There’s some sin! It’s over there! It’s with those people!” “Yes. I’m aware,” might be God’s response.
BUT GOD, I AM BETTER THAN THESE SINNERS OVER HERE! Romans 3:22-24: “There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”
BUT GOD, I HAVE DONE THE WORK OF BEING SAVED! I’M BETTER THAN THESE SINNERS OVER HERE! Ephesians 2:8-9, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.
BUT GOD, I USED TO BE A SINNER, BUT I AM A SINNER NO LONGER! I DESERVE BETTER THAN THESE SINNERS OVER HERE! Romans 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death.” It is only through God’s grace – which no one deserves – you are spared this fate.
So, what do the potential sins of other people have to do with your own relationship with God? Nothing. Here comes my second question: WHAT DOES YOUR REACTION TO THE SINS OF OTHERS HAVE TO DO WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD? EVERYTHING.
From the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 7:1-5 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?
You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” JUDGING THE SINS OF OTHERS INSTEAD OF LOVING THEM TO CHRIST IS TO FOCUS ON THE SPECK IN YOUR NEIGHBOR’S EYE.
TIME IS THE MOST FUNDAMENTAL GIFT OF ALL. IT IS THE ESSENCE OF OUR VERY EXISTENCE. AND TIME IS WHAT ALLOWS US TO START TO SEE WHAT MIGHT FIRST APPEAR A “CURSE” AS A “BLESSING.”
CONSIDER THIS PAPER TOWEL ROLL. IF SEEN FROM THE SIDE, IT LOOKS LIKE A RECTANGLE. IF SEEN FROM THE FRONT, IT LOOKS LIKE A CIRCLE. WE HUMANS ARE STUCK SEEING IT AS ONE OR THE OTHER.
BUT GOD, WHO IS OUTSIDE OF TIME, CAN SEE IT AS BOTH AT ONCE. IS THIS A RECTANGLE, OR A CIRCLE, GOD? GOD SAYS “YES.” IS THIS A BLESSING, OR A CURSE? GOD SAYS “YES.” AM I A SINNER, OR A SAINT? GOD SAYS “YES.”
WHY? BECAUSE WE ARE NOT “BEING.” WE ARE “BECOMING.” TO GOD, WHO LIVES OUTSIDE OF TIME, WE ARE ALL EVERYTHING, ALL AT ONCE. WE ARE ALL SINNERS, AND WE ARE ALL SAINTS.
God offers the fulness of abundance to provide our needs. We were created to enjoy that abundance. But we have to get our EGOs out of the way. We have to start seeing our lives for the radical blessings that they are.
We have to see that both the “good” and the “bad” things that happen to us are a part of God’s plan. We can’t hope to understand it. But if we go with the program and make ourselves useful to God’s purpose, we can find utter contentment.
We can find comfort, and peace in our lives by making ourselves useful to God. We can experience the joys of love, and kindness, and forgiveness. God has already given us all those. By getting our EGOs out of the way, we can pass them along to others. We can find purpose.
